Lerner, Harriet

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner, in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers.While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of our anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.

"""Anger is a signal and one worth listening to,"" writes Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., in the renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence their anger, says Lerner, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves them feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of their anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. "

The Dance of Intimacy

In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.

The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self

Unhappiness, says bestselling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hits, they may become our constant companions.

Anxiety can wash over us like a tidal wave or operate as a silent thrum under the surface of our daily lives. With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us from "fear lite" to the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn:

• how a man was "cured in a day" of the fear of rejection -- and what we can learn from his story
  
  
• how the author overcame her dread of public speaking when her worst fears were realized
  
  
• how to deal with the fear of not being good enough, and with the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate
  
  
• how to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace
  
  
• how to manage fear and despair when life sends a crash course in illness, vulnerability, and loss
  
  
• how "positive thinking" helps -- and harms
  
  
• how to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified and have internalized the shaming messages of others

No one signs up for anxiety, fear, and shame, but we can't avoid them either. As we learn to respond to these three key emotions in new ways, we can live more fully in the present and move into the future with courage, clarity, humor, and hope. Fear and Other Uninvited Guests shows us how.

The Dance of Deception: A Guide to Authenticity and Truth-Telling in Women's Relationships

When The Dance of Deceptionwas published, Lerner discovered that women were not eager to identify with the subject. "Well, I don't do deception" was a common resonse.

We all "do deception", often with the intention to protect ourselves and the relationships we depend on. The Dance of Deceptionunravels the ways (and whys) that women show the false and hide the real -- even to our own selves. We see how relationships are affected by lying and faking, by silence and pretending and by brave -- but misguided -- efforts to tell the truth.

Truth-telling is at the heart of what is most central in women's lives. It is at the foundation of authenticity and creativity, intimacy and joy. Yet in the name of "honesty", we can bludgeon each other. We can approach a difficult issue with such a poor sense of timing and tact that we can actually shut down the lines of communication rather than widening the path of truth-telling.

Sometimes Lerner's advice takes a surprising turn -- for example, when she asks us to engage in a bold act of pretending in order to discover something "more real"; or when she tells us not to parachute down on our family to bring up a "hot issue" without laying the necessary groundwork first.

Whether the subject is affairs, family secrets, sexual faking or the challenge of "being oneself", Lerner helps us to discover, speak and live our own truths.

The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life

How does motherhood change you? Who or what do you become when you become a mother? "We can't begin to know what our children will evoke in us until we have them," says psychologist and psychotherapist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of the bestselling The Dance of Anger. Lerner set out to write a book on parenting, and ended up with a thoughtful and honest book focusing on the experience of being a mother--a woman's experiences, needs, and changes as she travels through the trials and pleasures of pregnancy, birth, power struggles, guilt, anxiety, relationship challenges, sibling struggles, and separation. Filled with personal stories and case studies, The Mother Dance offers mothers-to-be a guide for the road ahead, and women who are already mothers will recognize their own dilemmas and situations, and gain clarity about their experiences. Throughout, Lerner is wise, personal, and truthful about her own failings. This book is a welcome addition to the recent discourse on the mothering experience. --Ericka Lutz

From the celebrated author of The Dance of Anger comes an extraordinary book about mothering and how it transforms us -- and all our relationships -- inside and out. Written from her dual perspective as a psychologist and a mother, Lerner brings us deeply personal tales that run the gamut from the hilarious to the heart-wrenching. From birth or adoption to the empty nest, The Mother Dance teaches the basic lessons of motherhood: that we are not in control of what happens to our children, that most of what we worry about doesn't happen, and that our children will love us with all our imperfections if we can do the same for them. Here is a gloriously witty and moving book about what it means to dance the mother dance.

Life Preservers: Good Advice When You Need It Most

With wit, wisdom and uncommon sense, Dr. Harriet Lerner gives readers the tools to solve problems and create joy, meaning and integrity in their relationships. Women will find Life Preservers (more than 40,000 copies sold in hardcover) to be an invaluable motivational guide that covers the landscape of work and creativity, anger and intimacy, friendship and marriage, children and parents, loss and betrayal, sexuality and health and much more.

With new insights and a results-oriented approach, Dr. Lerner answers women's most frequently asked questions and offers the best advice for problems women face today:

I always pick the wrong guys.
Should I move in with him?
I can't stand my boss.
Should I leave my marriage?
How can I recover from his affair?
Is my fantasy abnormal?
Is my therapy working?
I miss my mother.
I can't believe I was fired.

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed or Desperate

In this profound new audio, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger teaches us how to "find our voice" with the people who matter the most. With wit and wisdom, Harriet Lerner shows us how to "set things right" and heal the most painful disconnections, tackling the most difficult problems we face with the people who hurt us.

Whether you're dealing with a partner, a parent or best friend, Lerner shows us how to speak with honor and personal integrity even when the other person behaves badly. This is a heartfelt audio full of useful anecdotes and wisdom that will change the way you feel about yourself and dramatically enhance all of your important relationships. Our capacity for creativity, wisdom, and joy depends on connecting well with the key people in our lives. Lerner teaches us how to navigate our most difficult relationships with integrity, courage, and joyous conviction.

Franny B. Kranny, There's a Bird in Your Hair!

Franny B. Kranny marches to the beat of a different hairdresser. When her family encourages her to cut her long, frizzy, troublemaking red hair, she refuses outright. She loves her hair. And when, before the big family reunion, a hairdresser tries to tame her mop, piling it in a heap on top of her head, Franny seethes and schemes. But then something funny happens on the way home. A bird lands in Franny's hair, and she decides the fancy new hairdo isn't so bad after all. The snuggled-down bird presents some technical difficulties: getting into bed and taking a bath, for example. But when Franny turns out to be the hit of the family party, and her formerly disapproving parents and sister change their tune, this individualist does an about-face yet again!

Authors (and sisters) Harriet Lerner and Susan Goldhor previously teamed up on What's So Terrible About Swallowing an Apple Seed?. In their latest endeavor, they create an appealing heroine and a thoroughly delightful, funny story that will have young readers everywhere daring to be different. World-renowned, award-winning illustrator Helen Oxenbury depicts with great humor the fiercely independent redhead, her mother (who has her own bizarre 'do), her prissy, sleek-haired sis, and the rest of the Kranny clan. (Ages 4 to 7) --Emilie Coulter

Franny B. Kranny's long, frizzy hair is big trouble. It ties itself in knots on the buttons of her dress and gets stuck in the refrigerator door! But Franny B. Kranny loves her hair. She refuses to cut it and is furious when she has to get a fancy new hairdo for a family reunion. Then a bird decides to make Franny B. Kranny's hair its home, and suddenly Franny B. Kranny starts to like her new hairdo....

Best-selling author and psychologist Harriet Lerner and her big sister, biologist Susan Goldhor, co-authored the children's book What's So Terrible About Swallowing an Apple Seed?. They team up again here with this hilarious and heartfelt story about daring to be different. World-renowned British illustrator Helen Oxenbury brings Franny B. Kranny, her wild hair, and her unique family delightfully to life.

Children's Choice Award winner for 2002.

Harriet Lerner on Anger: Where Your Anger Comes from and How to Transform It

Harriet Lerner on Anger - How women can reclaim anger as a vital, life-changing force while constructively resolving life issues - from the pioneer who literally wrote the book on this much-misunderstood subject.

What's So Terrible About Swallowing an Apple Seed? (Harper Trophy Books)

When Rosie accidentally swallows an apple seed, her big sister Katie tells her that before long apple tree branches will bloom right out of her ears. Soon Rosie is imagining both the hazards and delights of having branches growing from her ears, and Katie is learning how fast a little white lie can grow. Written by bestselling author and psychologist, Harriet Lerner, and her big sister, Susan Goldhor, with delightfully funny illustrations by Catharine O'Neill, this is a special story about straying from the truth, forgiveness, and the boundless powers of a child's imagination.

1996 `Pick of the Lists' (ABA)

Children's Choice Award winner for 2002.